Hill Harper’s new book “The Conversation” takes on Black Relationships

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Available for Pre-Sale at Amazon.com (Click Here)

Available for Pre-Sale at Amazon.com (Click Here)

The  CSI actor and author of “Letters to a Young Brother” and “Letters to a Young Sister,” Hill Harper discusses black relationships in his new book “The Conversation.”  While the official release date is September 8, Harper encourages people to support “The Conversation” via pre-sales to prove to prospective sponsors of his planned city-to-city book tour, which includes town hall discussions, that this issue is important.

I was encouraged to make this post after hearing Harper’s interview on the Steve Harvey Morning Show.  Harper spoke about the “All black men are playas” and “All black women are gold-diggers” stereotypes that we we allow to separate us when we accept them as truth.  “The Conversation is the first non-fiction book chosen by the ESSENCE book club.

Below is a letter that Hill Harper wrote to members of his website ForRealSolutions.com:

Hey everyone, it’s Hill Harper, and I am writing you today because I NEED YOUR HELP!

The statistics are startling: In 1966, over 80% of African American children were being raised in two-parent households; in 2006, that number had plummeted to 31%

Or, get this: 70% of Black professional women are single. Smart, successful women with no suitors?! What’s going on?

If we don’t start addressing the issues between Black men and Black women, we will bear witness to the destruction of the Black family. I won’t stand by and be silent.

It’s so important to me that I’ve written an entire book on the topic. The Conversation, will be hitting bookstore shelves this September.

My goal is to host a city to city tour of FREE town halls where we can all come together and have a real conversation about what’s really going on. I want single folks, married folks—young and old—to courageously let their voices be heard around this topic that is often discussed on talk radio or afternoon TV shows, but rarely taken on face-to-face within our communities.

AND, I want singles to have the opportunity to mix and mingle at these town halls. Let’s connect singles together in every city we visit!

It’s no secret that a tour like this one—free of charge to its attendees—would be expensive and require corporate sponsorship dollars. I must to prove to the prospective sponsors that this issue is important to us all. How do we do that? I can prove that we care about this issue by sharing high book pre-sale numbers with them. And by tracking what area of the country the pre-sales come from, we can be sure to schedule the tour cities for those areas.

I AM ASKING YOU TO SHOW THAT YOU CARE!

We all have to join The Conversation and begin to work on these relationship issues.

Thank you so much for all of your support.

Let’s do this together,

Hill Harper

52 thoughts on “Hill Harper’s new book “The Conversation” takes on Black Relationships”

  1. Mr. Harper,

    It is truly how amazing God is. I am 42 years old wondering why I am having difficulties with relationships after a divorce, and I stumbled across your book this past week (12/31/11). Reading The Conversation was right on time for me. I thought I had a handle on my baggage. I never wanted to ever make any man to feel or endure any pain/issues from my past, but then I wondered why I couldn’t love the man of my dreams. A man who clearly displayed that he enjoyed me “as is.” Even though this one got away. I made a vow to myself to tear down that wall, and know that every man I meet moves to the beat of their own drum, and I need to listen to that melody they are playing. The words in the book were so powerful it allowed me to apologize to the man I hurt, and hope one day he can forgive me.

    I especially want to thank your friend Chris because he stated how easy it is to move on, but being committed to work it out takes work. Thanks to him, the next man gets the full package. No walls, and I promise that the next healthy relationship I am in that I will give my all. No more half-steppin’.

    Thanks Chris & Mr. Harper, and everyone in the book for being honest with their feelings.

  2. I just hosted a “Conversation Party” this past weekend. It was an awesome experience. It was a chance for positive black individuals to come together and have a conversation about relationships. Thank you for including the questions in your book.

  3. Well done I so enjoyed hearing you speak in Dearborn, Mi. I have a few friends that
    are single and want to be married. You revealed some interesting information regarding men and your fears. How do we remove the walls and let people get close
    and become apart of our world? Is it that we need to make an effort to put it on our
    planner to ensure we don’t miss out on sharing life with someone special.

  5. Mr. Harper
    Please contact me regarding you coming to the capital city in NC. If you can send me your contact information we can proceed from there. The last event I attended and was a part of was with Michael Baisden before he became popular as he is now. Look forward to talking to you soon.

  7. Dear Mr.Harper,
    I would like to begin by congratulating you on your success as an author.Secondly I had a chance to meet you here in chicago a few years ago. I would like to address an issue that really troubles me. Hopefully you can enlighten me concerning it. I understand that a man is free to love and be with the person of his choice. However it is troubling to see the majority of black athletes and actors in relationships with white women. Black women have been used by everyone in the world. The cruel hands of slavery stripped the black man of his courage and dignity by beating it out of him in front of his wife and children. As a result of that he learned to hide behind his woman therefore rendering her the authority figure. There is absolutely no truth to the saying black women have always been free. We did not have a choice when it came to master raping us and placing our babies in the fields to pick cotton. We had no choice when it came to doctors and scientists cutting and slicing our genitalia open to find cures to diseases that plagued white women. Today’s successful black man shares his wealth with a white woman because society yet has us brainwashed. Dating outside one’s race keeps the wealth within the white community. How many black men have white girlfriends or wives that are committed to changing the plight of black america!? If they exist I have not seen them. I used to get excited about successful black men but I don’t anymore because more than likely he either has a white woman or has his eyes set on one. It is not enough nor acceptable any longer for black men to speak words of adulation about how strong the black woman is when your actions are tearing us down and destroying the core of the black family. It is not the woman’s place. God gave the rulership to the man. How can the black man rule when he obviously prefers to share his weatlh, sex and greatness with other races. The bible says a man that fails to provide for his own household is worse than a fool. The healing has to start by addressing what we’ve done to one another! How do you suggest we accomplish this?

  8. you are so wrong…sad to see you accept such slim……I’m sad that you have let the american people down.

  9. Hi Hill,

    I wanted to let you know that I have started a bookclub for couples and our first book of choice was “The Conversation”. I have enjoyed this book immensely and hope the rest of the group has as well. Our meeting is scheduled for April 3, 2010 at 4:00pm. I know this is short notice, but I would be estatic if you could possibly call in and conversate with us a bit about the book. It would be even better if you could stop by and join in for a while. I am located in the Wash DC Metropolitian area. Please contact me at the email address included with this comment. Thanks for addressing this issue and being a concerned Black Male!

  10. Hello Hill,

    I just finished reading your book. I loved it!! I have to admitt I wish I had the opportunity to sit in on one of your conversation. When I was done I cried my eyes out. It deffinitely made me want to look at ” the Man in The Mirror” Keep up the good work!!!

  11. Hey Hill! I am super excited that you are taking a stand and fighting for change in black families. It is needed and I am so proud to have read your book and to know a wise one is among us.

    I would love for you to cone back to Dallas. Many here did not attend your first event. Need help planning or organizing give me a call. I’m with you in this endeavor 100%. We can stand together to change our community for the better.

  12. Mr. Harper, I am currently reading your book ” Letters to a Young Brother”, and I actually emailed you a few minutes ago at Hill@manifestyourdestiny.net. I don’t know if that email is still active, but I did. I would like to say now, that from what I can see about the Black Americans, the problem is a lack of Love. Like in the email I sent you, I changed some young gang bangers in to artist and engineers just by giving them free studio time. If more positive Black Americans, such as your self, who are in the position to help our community, than we should. Each one Teach one is the motto I was raised on, and I think that motto works. Yes, America is flawed, but we can change that just by showing love. so if any body out there wants to change the community, just love the community. Give something to someone today. Doesn’t matter what, just give it and watch what you get in return.

  13. o my god i love you hill for doing all you do . i havent read “the conversation ” but i think that it could help me and other just like letters to a younge sister i have been through a lot i my life and letters to a younge sister helped a so i think that this book can help as well. and HILL PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ COMe DOWN HERE TO COLUMBIA MO or to st.louis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have been wanting to see you dude

  14. Man, Harp this one could save the black family and so many relations in this western culture. Thanks to Don & Robin for keeping it real. Bye next to my bible , I gotta finishing reading the conversation. I’ve passed it on to 3,000+FB ALUMNI and more. We must be brothers ask Don

  15. I just finished reading your book and I thought it was great and plan to have a conversation party. I find that I communicate very well, however the men I have dealt with do not. There has been times when I have asked a direct question via text or email and will not get a response…. Not sure how to keep them from shutting down.

  16. YOUR BOOK IS REALLY GOOD, I READ IT AND GAVE IT TO MY FRIEND FOR US BIRTHDAY, I ASKED HIM TO READ IT BECAUSE WE REALLY DO HAVE A CONVERSATION PROBLEM AND HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS, HOPING TO ONE DAY SEND YOU GOOD RESULTS IF HE EVER READS THE BOOK…KEEPING HOPE ALIVE.

  18. The Book, the book the Conversation “Do you know my dad or something” I got this info early in life from my level headed, to death do us part married BLACK, Taurian, Head of Household, no drama dad. Thanks for publishing it for the women out there who haven’t heard. Female 56 yr old twice widowed (by wars)but happily married sister.

  21. I haven’t read the book yet. I did catch Hill on the Brian McKnight show and heard him say that people meet each other’s agent in the beginning, I’ve been using this expression since the early nineties… mostly refering to the club scene. I wonder if the book is for YOUNG adults or students?? And did Hill write the book or have a ghost writer??

  22. I brought the book on Nov 3 09, after reading it I must say I’ve been able to view relationship issues from a better perpectives. Hill thanks for writing “The Conversation”…p.s.St.Louis, Mo could use a visit.

  23. Hello Mr. Harper
    I was disappointed in myself for missing you here in Atlanta last week. I thank you in advance for this book. If we don’t do something about “our” situation, the results will be catastrophic for Black people period. We might as well view black families in a museum if we don’t change our minds, hearts, and spirits…looking forward to the future with high hopes…and I am not giving up on our brothers!!!!

  24. Check out video segments of The Conversation Book Club as we reviewed Hill Harpers new book. We are public health motivational speakers. and were anticipating the release of The Conversation.

  25. Mr. Harper I have followed your career for many years and when you wrote letters to a young brother, I purchased it for my son who attends Texas Southern University and is very attractive. I wanted him to get a different take on manhood. He later told me he enjoyed your book. I rushed out to buy “The Conversation”, you have put into words what many of my girlfriends and I have been saying for years. I lived in Houston for many years, was married and absolutely loved being married. But it did not work out and too many women wanted my husband so I gave him to them. I guess eventually he gave into temptation and I was devastated. I said that to say I have beautiful, attractive girlfriends, educated and we are all single. I don’t understand. I am very realistic in my expectations, some of my friends are not. I am a Critical Care Nurse and am currently in college to achieve my Masters Degree, I make a very good living, well over 6 figures which is nothing to you but a lot to the common person. I work for the goverment at a large Va Medical Ctr in Kansas City Mo., and also at an inner city Trauma Ctr, in ICU because I like working with my people and enjoy the learning experience of dealing with trauma patients. I have been told by many brothers that men are intimidated by women like me. I have always been told I was beautiful both inside and out. In fact in my younger years I modeled, was a cheerleader, homecoming queen and even in the Miss World Pagent. Just because a person is a high achiever and sets goals for themselves should not intimidate our brothers, they should be proud of our accomplishments. I know this is lengthy, but your book struck a cord with me. What is wrong with our people. Not every wormen is a gold digger and not every man is trying to use women. Your an awesome man and I wish you much happiness. I too have a family background similar to yours however we have continued our family reunions and it is a beutiful thing. Take care and god bless. Oh if I had a man like you, I promise you I would make you very happy. I hope you find what your looking for, but you have to take chances, or you will never know. LOL. Charlotte

  26. I read this book and let me tell you how much I loved it.. I had never ever read a Hill Harper Book. I do watch CSI NY ( and I love it) I know that he has two more out there. I picked up the book “Conversation” because of the Handsome man on the cover ..Lol.. no, but I was hearing a lot about the book so, I went to pick it up.. I loved it I mean reading the different conversations between women and men and also getting to peak into Harp’s life a little as he shared his struggles with dealing with relationships and women made it more personal for us. Mr. Hill Harper keep doing your thing!! I am 33 year old single female and loving it. I regret nothing about my life well, almost nothing. I have a High School diploma and no college back ground . I work for a well known bank and I love what I do and hope to keep moving up. I am not bitter at all because where I am from I was not suppose to have made it this far so, I am still excited about my life because God has a purpose and a plan. In saying this the next time you set down to write a great book like this include some everyday folks like myself. Who didn’t get to college but, who are living a good life despite the odds that were against them.. Thank you for that book. Awesome!!!

  27. Our black communities need prayer. I’m not taking away from any other race or community, but we really need to get back to praying for our families in the inner city. Education is the key, without those things, how can we even begin to pull ourselves out of this nasty pit that we are and have been succumbing to. I started reading Hill’s book, “The Conversation” and one of the things that stayed with me, was the fact that, we as African-Americans, “fear one another,” this is totally true; instead of embracing one another, we fear one another and therefore we begin to “tear-down” one another. It’s time for us to take back our families and love one another, regardless of status.

  28. I had the opportunity of hearing Hill Harper speak at the University of Dayton for the University’s Diverse Lecture Series. It was real informative.The biggest highlight for me was, there was a young man in the audience who attends Wright State University and he stated that a lot of our young black men won’t even try to attend the different meetings that are open to them, as far as bettering themselves while getting their education. The young man was hurt due to the lack of involvement from the other young men. Hill spoke to him and told him, “not to give up.” I feel a lot of our young men need to hear things like this, so that they won’t give up so easily. We in the community, instead of being afraid to approach young people, we really need to step back and “check ourselves” and become more involved, whether their our family members,friends, etc. or not and become Mentors for our young people, they need us, we have to be good examples for our young people and stop being afraid.

  29. Great book! Iwould love for Hill Harper to do a town hall meeting in the city of Fort Lauderdale.

  30. Hi Hill, I just finished reading your book today. It took me less than 24 hours to read it. I picked it up and could not put it down. I just want to thank you for being who you are. Thank you for aaking the questions and getting the answers so many of us have wanted to ask ourselves but never knew how. Thank you for still believing in the black family and community. Most of all thank you for uplifting Black Women as we so often get categorized in such a negative way and put down by our brothas who have decided to date white women. Brothas like you and President Obama give Black women like me HOPE! I walked away from book feeling empowered and uplifted.

    Thank you so much for caring enough to start “The Conversation” to rebuild the Black family and promote Black Love.

    Many Blessings my beautiful black brotha! I wish you continued success and a life full of joy and unconditional black love! 🙂

    Again, many thanks!
    Rocytha

  32. Join the Abraham Lincoln Bicentennial Commission tomorrow afternoon at Northeastern University in Boston for “Lincoln, Douglass and the Transformative Power of Words,” featuring Hill Harper as a panelist. The Town Hall takes place from 10:00am to 12:30pm. Hill Harper will be signing copies of this latest book immediately following the event, so don’t miss out! If you can’t make it to Boston, follow @lincoln200yrs on Twitter – we will be “live-tweeting” from the event and will keep you up to speed on everything being said by our panelists.

  33. Hi Hill…My Question Is How Do We Talk About Our Issues When People Particular Black Men Are So Defensive…As Soon I Brought Up Black Men Being Absent In The Home (72%) The Brothers Got Defensive & Started Defending Their Individual Success….These Brothers Feel That Since They Are Doing The Right Thing & A Few Of Their Friends Are That My Points Are Not Valid & That I Am Male Bashing…I Was So Hurt….I Couldn’t Believe The Reaction…& These Are College Educated Black Men…Is It Just Me Or Are They Dilusional….I’m Saddened, Heartbroken Devassted, & Frustrated….How Can We Fix This Mess If We Are Not Going To Be Open & Honest About Our Issues? Male & Female…Please Help…Please Give Us Some Feedback On How We Can Work On This When Our Communication Is So Poor…….

  34. Hi Hill…My Question Is How Do We Talk About Our Issues When People Particular Black Men Are So Defensive…As Soon I Brought Up Black Men Being Absent In The Home (72%) The Brothers Got Defensive & Started Defending Their Individual Success….These Brothers Feel That Since They Are Doing The Right Thing & A Few Of Their Friends Are That My Points Are Not Valid & That I Am Male Bashing…I Was So Hurt….I Couldn’t Believe The Reaction…& These Are College Educated Black Men…Is It Just Me Or Are They Dilusional….I’m Saddened, Heartbroken Devassted, & Frustrated….How Can We Fix This Mess If We Are Not Going To Be Open & Honest About Our Issues? Male & Female…Please Help…Please Give Us Some Feedback On How We Can Work On This When Our Communication Is So Poor…….

  36. Mr. Harper I would like to extend a welcome for you to come the the great northwest, Seattle, Washington. There are many African American’s here however, we often get looked over not that you would. I just want to make sure that you have the invitation to come and speak, discuss you new book ‘The Conversation’. It will be a great opportunity for all in our area.

    Thanks in advanced for your consideration.

  37. I saw Hill Harper in Baltimore when he spoke at the Pratt library about Letters to a Young Sister. I was disappointed in the seemingly intentional lack of substantive dialogue. I hope this initiative gives rise to a thought out approach towards inciting real dialogue versus creating a fortuitous opportunity for women and girls to sidestep an issue they probably embody, feign an intellectual grasp of ideology and fawn over Mr. Harpers looks. Harpers ivy league education is too elusive for most blacks and the issues are too longstanding for such a casual, ego stroking approach. If Mr. Harper really seeks to impact change, he needs to also engage supporters who will challenge his methods and broaden his thinking on his tours.

  39. This book is awsome. I am suggesting it to all my friends and anyone who can read. If this don’t get all of Black America thinking and regrouping about our future then we are truely lost. Hill you hit this one out of the park!!!

  42. Please come to Los Angeles!!! I speak for myself and many black women here. We are so incredibly single here. It is so common to see our men with every nationality under the sun except black. My friends and I often talk about moving to another state simply because we are tired of being alone. It’s like a trend for men in L.A. to date everything but black. I believe in interracial dating, but here it is more like black women are being excluded.

  44. Until an ALBC town hall comes near you, you can follow the conversations online and share with us. Follow us on Twitter: @lincoln200yrs ( http://twitter.com/lincoln200yrs)

    We will be live-tweeting from each town hall event, letting our followers know what is being said, and giving them a chance to address issues (i.e. race, equality) by tweeting us questions as well. So, if you have questions for Hill Harper, tweet them to us! Our next live-tweet will be this coming Wednesday, September 9th from Cincinnati. For more information, please visit: http://www.abrahamlincoln200.org/

  45. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 12 YEARS AND FOUND IT HARD TO EXPRESS MY TRUE FEELINGS ABOUT MANY THINGS. IN THE LATER YEARS OF MY MARRIAGE FOUND THAT THIS ISSUE MAY HAVE BEEN THE CAUSE OF A BREAKDOWN IN MY MARRIAGE. I AM STILL MARRIED BUT FEEL THAT THIS BOOK WILL HELP ME AS WELL AS OTHERS.

    PLEASE CONSIDER COMING TO GREENSBORO, NC.

  46. Please come any where near Philly. I think your book will help many young couples and singles too. I’ve been in a seven year relationship and hope get something out of you book to share with my boyfriend. I’m sure a lot of “Conversation” will spark between him and I while reading your book. I really hope you have a town meeting in my area. Be blessed Hill!

  47. Here (where I am as of now) at the California African American Mueseum are sure to appreciate the presence of Hill Harper (as we will this upcoming Sunday) to discuss the issues in his new book. personally, I feel I need to know more about how to bridge the gap between black men and black men. Please come Mr. Harper. Have a town meeting here, too.

  48. I would love for Mr. Harper to do a town hall meeting in our city in Louisville with the Urban League Young Professionals..We are HUGE fans

  49. Hill Harper will be a panelist for the ALBC’s National Town Hall in Boston on October 3rd. The theme of this town hall is “Lincoln, Douglas and the Transformative Power of Words”, and we will be tweeting live from the event. Send us your questions and join us for the event on Twitter http://twitter.com/lincoln200yrs

    Or, visit us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/Abraham.Lincoln.Bicentennial.Commission

    For more event details, visit here: http://www.abrahamlincoln200.org/calendar/town-hall-boston-10-3-09.aspx

  50. Our singles ministry at Second Ebenezer Church, Detroit, MI would love to sponsor a town hall. We could invite all the singles ministries of the churches we are affiliated with and with whom we fellowship.

  51. I’ll do what I can to support this very Important issue starting with preordering and encouraging everyone I know to preorder as well.

  52. i would love for mr. harper to do a speaking engagement at our church here in st. louis, mo. the people here are HUGE fans of hill harper. please contact me.

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